Have you ever heard men brag about having a low-maintenance woman? Well, what are these women? Plants? 

Low maintenance comes into play when I buy plants because low-maintenance plants don’t require much care and attention. Ladies, if you’re with someone who has given you the title of “low-maintenance,” buy him a cactus and be by yourself until you find someone who loves to care for orchids. 

Orchids are pretty difficult to grow because they require special attention that other plants don’t, such as specific soil, and they cannot flourish in direct sunlight. These colorful, supermodel-looking plants often die because people don’t know how to care for them, just like relationships. Both parties must create a caring environment so each person can grow and flourish. And let me tell you, people require way more care than plants. 

I’m 47 and have been out of the dating world for 12 years. Last weekend, we had some friends over, including two guys about 25 years younger than me and my husband. Those guys are trying to navigate through the weeds to find their orchids and aren’t having much luck. They complained that a few girls they had dated were too “high-maintenance.” One of them said, “The key is to stop going after girls who are 7s, 8s, 9s, and 10s. Go after a 6, treat her right, and she’ll become a 10.” I admit. I chuckled when he said that, but I’ve thought about it ever since. 

Although I’m afraid I have to disagree with ranking a person’s physical appearance, there’s wisdom in what he said. When a woman receives the care, attention, love, and empowerment she deserves, she becomes the best version of herself. By her becoming the best version of herself, her qualities and strong character trickle down to enhance everyone’s lives around her. I’m not saying women need men to reach the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy because they don’t, but a loving, supportive partner can be a game-changer. I have experienced this myself. 

In my former life, before my brain was fully developed, I dated a guy who said I was “high octane,” a label based solely on how I looked and nothing else. At that time, I was a cactus thriving in a desert of nothingness. He had the audacity to label me as a stereotypical bitch when I was the one slipping him my debit card under the table to pay for dinners. 

If a man calls you high maintenance, take a bow. That’s the best compliment a woman can receive. That guy I dated was one of my most outstanding teachers because he caused me to think critically about what being high octane meant. What his ignorant ass was trying to articulate was the concept of high maintenance. 

High-maintenance women aren’t bitches at all. They’re quite the opposite because they have vital emotional intelligence. Life isn’t a game to them, and they don’t live by chance. They live on purpose, and to adopt and practice that lifestyle with complete fidelity, there’s no room for disrespect, sorriness, scarcity, sadness, worry, laziness, tardiness, abuse, infidelity, and slobby mindsets. A high-maintenance woman will leave your ass standing in a hurricane if you abuse and betray her. That’s why high-maintenance women have been stereotyped as bitches. 

The difference between low-maintenance and high-maintenance women boils down to one thing. Low-maintenance women settle for not getting what they really want, while high-maintenance women refuse to settle for anything less than what they want. And this far exceeds anything petty or superficial. 

You see, high-maintenance women aren’t just focused on material things. They prefer the best of the best and will hustle to get it. The best includes excellent health, a good-looking exterior, a better-looking interior, vital emotional intelligence, love, respect, and abundance. All these things make up wealth because wealth encompasses much more than money. Wealth is the big picture. If you’re wealthy, you have it all, and if the high-maintenance woman’s definition of having it all entails a man, she’ll choose a partner who will grow with her. 

A woman who is focused on filling her life with wealth will take you further than a woman who is not. High-maintenance women have decided at some point in their lives that they are not willing to settle for anything less than what they want, and that decision leads to action. Action leads to an energetic vibration that matches the best of the best, and this includes way more than an obsession with material things. 

If a woman consistently settles for not getting what she wants, she chooses self-loathing over self-love, and nothing good can come from this. A woman who doesn’t love herself cannot love anyone else. Her love for a partner who ignores her needs and wants eventually turns into resentment and hatred, two emotions that create a miserable life. Once she chooses misery, she can’t offer anything to anyone, much less herself. 

That’s why the high-maintenance woman will take her partner further. The term high-maintenance is too associated with money, and it’s so much more than that. Frankly, I don’t know anyone who would mindfully choose scarcity over abundance, so why criticize the women who decided higher standards and went after what they wanted? 

By my definition, high-maintenance women refuse to settle for anything that doesn’t promote their happiness and the lifestyle they deserve. And that is an admirable quality. My love and respect for myself bleed over into my marriage and relationships with others. After all, if I didn’t take optimal care of myself, how could I help thousands of people daily through my self-empowerment work? Serving others significantly contributes to the quality of conscious creations, but that’s a whole other topic. 

If there is one thing I’ve learned about men, it’s this. Men love a challenge. They are competitive by nature. A woman who doesn’t hold them accountable or push them to be their best is a woman they will become bored with, and they will not respect her. 

Cast gender aside. High-maintenance people become more and more high-maintenance as they get older because they know the key to longevity. The key to longevity is loving yourself, respecting yourself, and treating your mind and body like sacred spaces that not everyone is granted access to. 

Be an orchid. Don’t bloom for anyone who doesn’t give you exactly what you need. However, if you choose to be a cactus, I hope you can survive in a desert of nothingness.